The pattern so far :
Jealous at others achievement -> feel guilty for being jealous and petty -> feel unworthy for achieving so little -> depressed and want to just disappear from the world
Working -> feel my work will never good enough -> being distracted / or not but still achieve less than daily target -> feel numb -> realize my schedule messed up because of it -> realize there are still long long task list -> feel guilty and anxious -> depressed and want to just disappear from the world
Working -> feel my work will never good enough -> unconsciously
comparing how others doing better than me -> thinking my boss /
client will never accept my work and how they'll be disappointed at me
-> It might be easier if they just kill me already...
Feel tired -> realized achieving so little today -> feel guilty and unworthy for being tired while not doing that much -> depressed and want to just disappear from the world
Exhausted with the amount of effort I need to make for having social life and networking -> feel I will never good enough -> I might better to just disappear from the world and don't have to bother other people
Having fun -> Feel guilty for having fun -> frustrated, what the hell is wrong with me -> anxiety strikes back
Want to talk about my problem to other -> I don't want to make their mood sour because of me -> nobody want to hear depressing stories -> nobody will understand -> they'll blame and judge me to be such of a person -> feel like a failure -> depressed and want to just disappear from the world
Thinking about big decisions -> anxious with my future life -> fear that everything will be doomed -> depressed again~
Thinking about why do I have to feel all stuffs I mentioned before -> Feel like I'm a failure as a human -> depressed and want to just disappear from the world -> fear the stress will make my brain shrink -> depressed again...
There might be more that will be added to the list
