The Moon, the frog, the buffalo, and the horse. North will remember.

3 November 2016

All news and social media were talking about 4th november demonstration. I was paranoid, but still have faith there won't be much problems. My concentration at work was really poor. I was so angry at some ex president pers conference. I have no more symphaty to him anymore. I hate him for fueling the demonstrations and I believe it's him who pulled the strings. 

Some offices and schools, especially in protocol area, decided to took a day off. Mine was not. It's safer at the office since there are weapons. My boss and some colleagues also know self defense.

4 November 2016

Police and military were ready for anticipating the demonstrations. It went well without much problem, although I still think all their saying about peacefull demonstrations is bullshit since they endorsed killing and lots of hate to the governor and president in their oration and songs. Bunches of hypocrites... Though I do appreaciate that they had tried to keep everything clean and in order.

6pm then everything went downhill. Some groups tried to attack the police, around presidential palace, around the governor's house, mostly at the north. Several anti-Chinese attack happened at the north. Some shops were ransacked. They want us to be reminded with 98 riot.

I couldn't sleep well. When our president finally gave his press conference I know everything will be okay. It won't be more than this. But I still cry. I pray so hard that our governor and president can go through this. 

Dasar Kebo Asu!!!

5 November 2016

I woke up earlier than usual. Today I cleaned my room. Internet connection is down, so I just used my phone for connection. I cried a lot today. I guess yesterday is pretty stressful. 

I cry because my boss become convinced that we have to learn how to defend ourselves. I hate work out, at least I don't want to do that with them while I am still having this burnout. I cry when I heard about this idea because all anxiety and insecurities are roaming all around my head.

I cry when the governor stated it's okay if he's jailed if he creates so much chaos, but he won't back down. I cry so hard, I can't accept that injustice will happen to him. I feel helpless. I pray so hard that he will be okay and get through this safely. I really wish he could govern us again. I can't trust the other candidates. 

I cry again when I realized some facebook acquaintances hated them. I feel so dissapointed. It's not like it was easy to click the unfriend button, but I have to do it or I'll be consumed in rage. I always feel nauseous every time the televisions said all these were peaceful protest.

My room now is clean. I'll just rest and enjoy it.

Politics...

I'm a bit slowing down with my works. It's already November. I know I will be overwhelmed with merchandise and stuffs later. I hope it's okay for me to take it a bit slowly this week. I started walking too this week, around 3-4km each day. I enjoy my walk but it makes me easier to be tempted by food vendor.

One freelance project is done for a while. I'm a bit troubled with the other illustration project. It still makes me scared to draw. Maybe I should do it on weekend.

My mood today is pretty much destroyed today thanks to the news about politics. Some people are threatening minority people and government, masking their actions with religion BS.

The good thing I had experienced today is llao llao red queen smoothies. It's so delicious and makes me forget about all the bad stuffs for a while.

Is it really done?

Wednesday, I finished the last cut scene. I hope there will be no revisions.

Thursday, I went to monster animation. I was a bit irritated when the programmer ask 12 additional animation. I'm so scared I won't make it by Friday.

Friday, I woke up with bad lazy mood. I still wasn't sure to be able to finish 12 additional animation today. But at the afternoon it was actually done and I couldn't even believe myself. I asked for the next animation that need to be fixed and they say it also done. Is it really done? Did I misheard something?

I couldn't relax and I feel at lost. I had to find other task that still undone or might be missed by other. If I relieved, if I thought that everything is done, something bad will happen. Next week I'll do illustration for other costumes that supposed to appear at the game. Everybody seems to missed that.

I ate curry udon and tenzaru soba for dinner. The food was delicious, it was an awesome dinner.

Saturday, I went to market and bought some box for my new shoes. I actually wanted to drink some herbal drinks but the shop is so crowded. I ate so many kangkung for lunch. I love how they're cooked with tomatoes, garlic, and tauco. No one in the house love it more than me.

I play games until afternoon, then prepared myself for my friends wedding reception. I always a bit cynical about wedding and I feel dragged every time I get wedding invitation. But she's a good friend.

I went to the wedding reception and found myself concentrated with the food too much. I didn't ate all of them, but still I ate till full and satisfied. I felt like the groom ignored me, and I actually felt it since long. Maybe he doesn't like me or maybe I just thinking too much negatively about his gesture. I shouldn't think too much about it.

I get back with my family and we went to PIM for midnight sale after the reception. Since we're with our parents, we couldn't go out too much. My sandals for reception was also hurting my feet. I should change it with my ordinary sandals. We bought some new shirts. I actually wanted to go to H&M, Pull&Bear, Muji, Uniqlo, and Sogo. But Mom and Dad already tired. We went home at 11pm.

Sunday, I woke up at 11am. I overslept. I ate yellow fried rice, yellow tofu, and sauted water cabbage for brunch. My home yellow fried rice is always the best I've ever had.

I go back to my living quarter, writing blogs, and prepare for Monday. I often feel scared at Sunday when I'm alone. I wrote some blog posts. I ate fried potatoes, tofu with oyster sauce, green vegetables with oyster sauce, a bit rice, and hazelnut milk for early dinner. Now I feel fat. My freelance projects are still undone. I hope everything will be okay next week.