The Moon, the frog, the buffalo, and the horse. North will remember.

3 November 2016

All news and social media were talking about 4th november demonstration. I was paranoid, but still have faith there won't be much problems. My concentration at work was really poor. I was so angry at some ex president pers conference. I have no more symphaty to him anymore. I hate him for fueling the demonstrations and I believe it's him who pulled the strings. 

Some offices and schools, especially in protocol area, decided to took a day off. Mine was not. It's safer at the office since there are weapons. My boss and some colleagues also know self defense.

4 November 2016

Police and military were ready for anticipating the demonstrations. It went well without much problem, although I still think all their saying about peacefull demonstrations is bullshit since they endorsed killing and lots of hate to the governor and president in their oration and songs. Bunches of hypocrites... Though I do appreaciate that they had tried to keep everything clean and in order.

6pm then everything went downhill. Some groups tried to attack the police, around presidential palace, around the governor's house, mostly at the north. Several anti-Chinese attack happened at the north. Some shops were ransacked. They want us to be reminded with 98 riot.

I couldn't sleep well. When our president finally gave his press conference I know everything will be okay. It won't be more than this. But I still cry. I pray so hard that our governor and president can go through this. 

Dasar Kebo Asu!!!

5 November 2016

I woke up earlier than usual. Today I cleaned my room. Internet connection is down, so I just used my phone for connection. I cried a lot today. I guess yesterday is pretty stressful. 

I cry because my boss become convinced that we have to learn how to defend ourselves. I hate work out, at least I don't want to do that with them while I am still having this burnout. I cry when I heard about this idea because all anxiety and insecurities are roaming all around my head.

I cry when the governor stated it's okay if he's jailed if he creates so much chaos, but he won't back down. I cry so hard, I can't accept that injustice will happen to him. I feel helpless. I pray so hard that he will be okay and get through this safely. I really wish he could govern us again. I can't trust the other candidates. 

I cry again when I realized some facebook acquaintances hated them. I feel so dissapointed. It's not like it was easy to click the unfriend button, but I have to do it or I'll be consumed in rage. I always feel nauseous every time the televisions said all these were peaceful protest.

My room now is clean. I'll just rest and enjoy it.