I think the person who hurt me the most and made me uncomfortable with my body is actually my parents. Especially my father. My mom does that too especially when I was younger. But my dad does it more often. Like saying I'm fat for a joke, teasing me when I was getting slimmer, shaming me whenever he caught me ate instant noodles, or humiliate me when I sit in the back of the car and makes it heavier for the back wheels to push the car.
I never forget how he said I could get rank 3rd highest test result for my final exams at high school only because I'm in social class and social study is easier than science class. I love my father and I know he loves me dearly too, but I can ignore I also have some kind of grudge to him for his 'jokes' and for never acknowledging my hard work.
Perhaps it's one of the reasons for my low self confidence, of myself and my body. It might also be one of the reason I've never interested in marriage or having a lover. I can't see it as a way to make me happy.
I know my life is my own and I shouldn't think about it too much. If it's other people maybe I can ignore it. But it's just a bit harder when they come from my own parents.
