I'm having an appointment to meet my psychologist tomorrow, and now I'm drowned in my anxious negative thoughts. I don't know if it'll be a good decision. I'm really scared to be stigmatized.
I really want to tell honestly how I feel to people who're closed to me. I want to be accepted, supported, and understood in objective way. But I can't. I feel like they won't understand. not my family, not my friends, not my boss or coworkers. They'll think I'm just weak and a failure for not being able to overcome this. Even if they didn't think that way, I don't want to burden them with my problem and make them confused on how to help me. Such wish is a luxury.
When I was having typhoid and dengue fever, my parents subtly blamed me for not being able to handle stress and thus I got sick. My Mom also ask me to not make too much big deal when I was having 38 degree Celsius fever, coughing, and having chills for almost a week. How can I ask them to understand if I said I'm having mental problem... I know perfectly well that they love me, but understand my condition will be different matter.
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